Be grateful when you are born 'correctly'

I am in OPD @ Out-Patient Pharmacy for almost 4 weeks! Today is the starting of my dispensing week - 'dispensing' in Malaysia means giving out the medicine(s) to the recipient, packed with the essential advice - perhaps this is a bit different from the definition regularly used in UK...

Anyway, lets say that I have survived today - and the process is actually - quite similar to the setting of community pharmacy in UK - and actually - its is similarly fun!!!

Today I met a young lady of 15 years old - with Thalassaemia  (corrent spelling???). There is no issue with mental capacity considered when I was dispensing her prescription. Her face was quite 'pucat' (Malay term for pale, white face), yet still smiling when talking to me. She's also taking her brother's prescription too. Thinking back, I wonder how much hardship that she has to endure, since young, perhaps? It's not her fault. No one wished to be born with any sort of illness, if possible, I believe...

More story to be told in OPD really. However I am grateful as the patients here, most are very considerate and patient, and has no problem to wait for sometime. Perhaps this is a bit different compared to other states. Sometimes I appreciate this as this makes my work environment has one less point to be stressful about. There are some very inconsiderate patients - yet this is very minimal - and I tried to tell myself, do not compromise your patient care to lots more others due to the bad mood caused by these relatively very few inconsiderate patients.

***

Today I met a beggar boy on the street too. He tried to get some money from me. Yet I chose to walk away.

Thinking back, I am not sure if I was wrong. I mean, he may be really in need of money. He may be really hungry...He may not. Some may say, it's his parents' fault then. I think sometimes, it's really out of our control to be born in which family. If possible, of course everyone wants to be the prince, or son of a millionaire - yet how many is/are so lucky, at the end? 

Talking about the beggar in Sabah. While some are local, some are actually descendant(s) from Indonesia or The Philippines. I am not trying to be internationally discriminative here. My point is, sometimes it's due to poverty that the child(ren) of these foreigners (which sometimes, may be illegal) have to try to look after themselves, and this happen due to the under-education or the difficulties faced by the foreigners themselves. So at the end, when these young children start to beg at the street, I am sure they must be ashamed sometimes. I wonder, how do these children perceived other people's look on them? Will they feel looked down? Not respected? Or feel like their presence are not welcomed? Are petty? Or...Will this cause them to be under-confident? Is this the reason why they feel crime is the only way to solve their problem(s)? 

And at the same time, while I am respecting and feeling that it is natural for each country to take care of their own citizens first. I sighed for the fate of these poor children. I mean, they are innocent. They do not wish to become poor, and have to beg/be bad, and finally become a burden to the society, directly or indirectly. How about the fate of those children where one of their parents may be local while the other is not? At the end, perhaps no one can answer me. I may be creating one of the most difficult question, yet only for myself, I suppose...

知己 祝福

深思下，才发现，就因为我们是好友、是知己，她才会把来自我的祝福，看得特别重要。。。

让我先来简述一下，这好几年以来，对生日祝福的心得。

大学一、二年级时，我，也许向往着别人对我的注意，因此在面子书上的每个生日祝福，都能让我觉得雀跃。。。我甚至还将每一个都拷贝起来，丢去了哪儿？嗯。。。忘了。。。但，一定还在。而我也通过面子书最忠诚的提醒，通常都不会忘了向我的面子书朋友们送上生日祝福。

渐渐的，人逐渐长大了，逐渐走出了刚刚进入大学是笼罩着我的阴霾。渐渐的，我发觉，靠着面子书的提醒而去祝福人家，是一种诚意？还是一种虚假？也许你会对我说，至少他/她愿意花费人生中“宝贵”的那几秒，或那几分钟，向他的朋友，献上祝福啊！我当初也是这么想——但后来，渐渐的，我连在面子书上祝福人家——也变得好“懒得”了。。。但是，通过电话或卡片所给予我的生日祝福，则仍然深深地感动了我。。。

11月16日，我忘了她的生日吗？没有，但看着在面子书上那每一张珍贵的与家庭、男朋友之合照，我觉得，这种实在的快乐——最重要。

今年，我终于能够在自家庆祝生日。但是，是否有“如愿以偿”、“兴高采烈”呢？没有。

“喂虾米（福建话）”？

因为仍然属于父亲的头百天忌日，再加上忙着筹备弟弟的毕业事宜，还有代课老师的事宜，由想起隔着南中国海的弟弟妹妹们也忙着温习、准备考试，我实在没有“心情”去“享受”生日。最后，连面子书上的生日祝福，也只是很含糊的看了一下。不是因为不够感恩，而是因为，当生活中有更急切的事宜时，我们的母难日，明白别人的心意，就好了。及时送上的祝福，我感谢；那些没有送上的，忘了也好，生活所需也罢，只要大家见面时，仍然是如初的亲切，让我们活在当下是，可以觉得爱与被爱——生活中还有什么，将会比这更可贵？

也许对一些个人来说，生日时的祝福是珍贵的。。。而我，即使没有100巴仙的同感，也绝对不可以一厢情愿的认为，别人可以认同我的看法和观点。。。

但更重要的，是我们曾经在生活中最需要的时刻，彼此互相扶持。即使现在因为时差、地理、加上其他种种因素，我们不再相死党似地联络——曾经在生活的轮胎，情绪最低点时，那句句包含着关心的文字，曾经实实在在地陪伴着彼此——我觉得，这些，才是最重要的。

想起我们每次对考试和未来的焦急与不安，我仍不忘彼此借给对方的“神笔”、“desserts”、运气等等。虽听起来很幼稚、虚假，但因而所诞生的信心，却是真、善、美的。

“海内存知己，天涯若比邻”。人的一生中，要找到朋友，并不难；然而若要找到知己，确实不容易。因此，愿咱们能在照着你，也照着我的月儿下，重修旧好。

代课老师之感言

成为代课老师几乎一个礼拜了。。。

昨天是母校第四十二节的运动会。回到那熟悉又陌生的体育馆，从学生成为（代课）老师，观点就是不一样！

教育界一直以来有阴盛阳衰的现象。本校也不例外。。。我和其他五位三年级的班主任坐在一起，形成一个属于自我的‘island'！五女一男。。。嗯。。。我的对面是我中学时的学长，隔壁是我小学时的代课老师，再远一点，则还是我小学时的老师！还有弟弟小学时的级任。。。

难得的是，成为代课老师并没有像我想象中的太过恐怖，很多老师都愿意尽力指点我。。。尤其是谭老师、陈老师、张老师和郑老师，arigato gozaimasu des ka!

想当初自己被叫去代替“生产”的何老师，还真是有点战战兢兢的！但原来，成为老师，并不太难（当然，也不太容易）。。。

小学老师果然必须是万能的！“所谓”——老师不是万能的，没有老师却万万不能！（LOL）老师出了老师，还是助教、书记、评判、警察、法官、“啊呀”父母等等。。。

何老师是三紫斑的班主任，也是生活技能之ketua panitia 或科任组长，任重道远！有时必须带何老师留下自己的署名时，还真是有点受宠若惊、心惊胆跳的！

还有还有——哪个办公室里没有内在政治啊？总之做回自己，虚心请教，习惯就好！

接下来就是一堆年终的谢师宴啦！But 别高兴太早，because before that, 我还有学校课本贷书、阅读计划、环保活动、年终考试成绩要“稍微”处理“一下”—— 认认真真地 oh my god 是也。。。

何老师，ganbateh des ka！

Believe

Use an adjective to describe yourself...unbelievable?

Finally - MPharm - and even better - first class :)

If converted to CGPA system in Malaysia - may be actually I will only get 3,5? or 3.4? I am not sure.

Despite all the happiness and laughter, I am touched by a quote provided by my friend, very recently:

I have a friend who i knew for 7 years. Throughout the years,people come and go but we still keep close contact and be there for each other always. He is the friend who i can tell anything and everything. He is the one who open up my world and inspires me a lot. Thanks dear.i am very proud of u!! Congrats!!Jackie CK Ho — feeling proud.

So simple, yet so meaningful.

Review my life in Bath for 4 years quickly - I realise I have not just gained a degree/Master, but even better, to know myself better, to know who my true friends are, to know who I can rely on, and eventually, to shine by giving back something, either directly or indirectly, back to my family, university and society.

Dear, it is your turn now. You are always by my side when I need you, since A-Level until now - the contact time is less - yet the meaning of our friendship hopefully shines brighter and even time shall envy us.

Believe in yourself, believe in your family, believe in your friend, believe in your boyfriend :D BELIEVE

Remember the reverse of STRESSED, which you will truly deserve in the end - and you will like me, feel so blessed and amazed, to certain, by yourself.

I will send you the magical pen that you have lent me before - and eventually all your hard works will be paid off, too.

- BELIEVE -

Malaysians - a day before...

The following statement extracted from a passage does not necessarily represent my political view on my home country or whatsoever.

However, I am moved and almost shed my tears when reading this, so thought to quickly share this with you.

"My dear friends, we are the same. It doesn't matter what our ethnicity is. We are Malaysians. We went to the same school. We played the same games. We enjoy the same amount of public holidays. We have the same memories. Most importantly, we share the same home. Neither of us are more Malaysian than the other. Neither of us should be made to feel that way."


Citation: http://news.malaysia.msn.com/elections/ge13-to-my-dearest-bn-supporting-friends

Care of elderly - blessing late OR late blessing

Am learning about the medications or care aspects of elderly / cancer patients for these few weeks after Easter.

Suddenly feel that this is not just about giving medicines and to make sure they can be cured - there's a point when actually it's just meant to relieve symptoms rather than curing.

It's a big challege if I will have the luck to apply any of it in the future - however I am wondering how I am going to approach it if I am being asked for.

Learning about all the biological changes as you get older - wrinkles, muscle wasting...it will happen to all of us, eventually, as we are mortal - yet I think of grandma and mum suddenly in the lecture...I have to admit that I used to treat grandma quite badly just because she was...well, a bit of elderly issue - confused, sometimes get irritable easier - but I never try to understand her - only after that few lectures I suddenly realise, may be she does not want to if she has the choice either - but all the biological changes, from hair, to brain, down towards the very end of the leg - it's just part of la vie, and neither of us can have control over it.

Suddenly feel so grateful to be able to learn Pharmacy - I get to review the body systems, care aspects of individuals, which sometimes makes me to think deeper in a few aspects of life, with people surrounding me - I am sure I won't have the time to think and feel if I am a medicine student, and will only think 'this and that as part of a big system' if I am an engineer...

OK, may be I am bit sentimental, may be I am a bit too free - but sometimes being able to take a step back and think back about your life, which hopefully will give you a chance to improvise your practice and make you a better person - I believe is a blessing...

***

And the final few weeks in University - only suddenly I see that 'not every words in the lecture has to be copied down' - each person is different - just take whatever you need, especially if relevant to your life or future practice.

I am not sure whether finally:

It is a blessing yet it comes so late to my life :(

OR

It comes so late to my life yet it is a blessing :)

I think I will choose the latter. How about you? ^^



 

Starting

Think that sometimes people worry too much on where, when and how to start.

Think the answer is simple: Just start, somewhere, sometimes, somehow...

Once you get started, only then you will be able to know what's next.

Just like what our tutor said before, don't worry too much about spelling, grammar, just 'splurge' it! Then, done!

***

道德

道德的规范，是一种他律，也是一种自律。

最近看了朋友讨论道德理论的部落格，心里不敢完全苟同。

世界上有太多太多的事情，并没有绝对的对与错，真正的黑与白。

所以并没有必要太过拘谨？

当然这些都是很主观，属于我的想法。你也许不敢苟同一切，或一些，或一点。。。

最近让自己上了几趟人生的课程，重新断定了自己对爱情的看法，从而为道德的观点，在揭开了一些枷锁。。。

十七岁时，若你问我道德课题，我也许会讲解一套硬式的黑与白。
 二十三岁了，同样的问题，我会开始brainstorm，有很多方面要考虑，就像要解决pharmacy practice 的 ethics 问题一样——而最终，也许，真假对错黑白是非，再也没有铁定的界限。。。

你，看到了我所看到的overlap吗？

***

放弃和放下。。。

最后都解脱了——只是方式，不太一样而已。。。

感谢你让我学会放下：）

学校2013的大结局——姜老师终于紧紧地抓着政浩的手。

最后，政浩还是走了，临别回头看了姜老师一眼：

‘请放心，我不会过得太差的’。。。

嘴角的伤口，还是鲜血色、红红的伤口。。。

然而姜老师的心疼、无奈和恐惧，又有谁能够真正明了？
 

Life Explorer

Today my message is simple:

University is not just about academic, it's a phase of growth when you get to meet people, work, be crazy, organise gatherings, travel and hence, work out who is yourself better...

You may be able to still keep your childhood innocence but how many will stand unshattered, eventually - God knows, you know...

Be grateful. Be youthful. Be a life explorer.

 

Project's Reflection

Just been back after chatting with Shaun today, for at least 2.5 hours.

While keep thinking on how to improve my project 'draft' all the time, I suddenly realise there's so many that I 'have learnt' from it, and hence I decide to 'jot down' my thoughts instantly before I put them into the deepest side of my 'memory drawers'. However when you see this, it has been kept aside for several days before I publish this, and I choose not to put this on Facebook, as people may feel that I am 'showing off'...

Basically I was engaged in the research of the effects of hyperglycaemia (high blood glucose level) on rat aorta (blood vessel in the heart that pumps blood to the whole body) this semester. Seriously I am amazed by myself on how I was able to put those idea into my final report, which strictly speaking, I believe I would not be able to simply think about it before/during the research process itself.

I am not sure if my previous effort especially on the comprehensive library research is 'worth the effort' eventually. May be yes. Honestly speaking my research itself involved quite simple repetitive procedures. However never I would imagine that we can come up with such complicated explanation for the final result at the end...as I told you just few seconds before...

Also...I think I am one of the few 'lucky' person that really understand the meaning of 'research' now - a process of finding answer for the unknown when in fact you may not know what should come up next. Not sure if a research that you always what are you doing always, or for the next steps can be called 'research'. In my case, it is simply a case of responding to previous result. What's your result today determine what you going to do tomorrow, for example...

Also, the whole point of research, may be, is not to report everything that you do and see. It's about selecting the 'most significant' materials, relevent to your own study and apply it where/when necessary. Therefore it's not a literature review. In our research we attempted so many combinations but we only managed to report/comment on a few as others were just...insignificant? Honestly 'insignificant' is not the most correct word as well but may be because we have word count limit as well, anyway...

Honestly it's a really 'good' challenge for myself, I should admit. I also should admit I learn more from the writing up process than just doing the experiment. There's so many to consider, so many to include, so many to avoid as well, in that limited amount of space...

Watched 'Love Come Home' on 21 January (2013) and learned that there's two types of people in life - those that emphasise on outcome, and those that emphasise on process - of course a nice outcome is what everyone will naturally expect - however isn't the process itself is important as well? I used to be this kind of 'outcome' person. However, thinking the other way, even if you don't have the most favourable outcome - it's the process itself that actually made you grow maturer...

Thinking back, I'm glad I got an easy-going supervisor. He's not the best in the universe (of course) but he did attempt to help whenever suitable, as well as providing me with great flexibility so that I can fulfill other commitments, which I am grateful for...His patience and tolerance, together with my brilliant groupmates that contributed directly and indirectly as well, really made up my whole research semester. All the laughter and smile, and sometimes, worry or even frustration, would be part of my memory - may not be as grand as others - may not be as interesting as others - but that's truly mine -

C'est ma vie!

Ice@Bath

It's the moment for anotehr new experience in my life - iceeeeeeeee skaaaaaaaaaatinggg!!!!!!!!!! Yeay~

Thanks to mon bon ami that still willing to accompany me, on that day.

After finished my works on that day, rushed home, got changed and finally - Victoria Park Ice Skating session!

It's a small space and there was lots of people, at least that's what my friend told me. The scale was a quarter of the one that we have in Malaysia (Sunway Pyramid, specifically).

To be honest I cannot imagine how huge the ice-skating venue in Sunway will be then. Yet at least, for that moment, it did not matter.

What I expected at the end happened anyway- I managed to move but I did not master the skills at the end anyway. As usual I am not that sporty (haise...).

Surprisingly I had a great time anyway. I did 'almost' fell down for a few times but as I always travelled near the wall I always have some kind of support which was absolutely essential, at least for me.

A stranger (indeed, STRANGER) was so nice to me. When her friend was a having a break, she quickly grabbed me (of course with my permission, please lah) and brought me to swing towards the centre and make a 'round'. It's my first and last attempt to 'skate' that well to be honest.

The feeling of skating, although tiring, was wonderful and interesting to me. It's like you are walking but without your feet touching the ground. You made the move, it seems easy but actually, at least for myself, you tried so hard not to fall down, which I am not sure if it's a great idea to be honest as people do say: You need to fall before you learn to 'walk'...

The thing that amase me the most is the fact that people did support each other during the ice-skating session. People would allow you to pass through if they realise you need to. Sometimes they even make ways for me automatically as they realise I need it, at some point. People did checked if you were alright. One of the mummy even laughed at me because she gave up after her first attempt. I suppose her main purpose to come was to photograph her children anyway. She kept smiling at me and said twice or thrice (I think): 'Wow, you haven't gave up. I gave up.' Will the same thing happen if I skate at Malaysia? I can pray, honestly, but God will decide eventually, which is what usually happen, anyway...

In short I did have a great time although I did had muscle pain for about 3 days after that and had to use patches for that so that I can continue with my project (what a great student ^^)...LOL~ I am more than thankful at that moment for God to bless me with the perfect legs and everything because otherwise I would not be able to do anything above. I was wondering for example for those whom are wheelchair bound - they see the world at a different level compared to us, which is sad sometimes - as what I have learnt from 'On Call 36 Hours'...

Rou even reminded me how grateful I should be for the opportunity to choose and to have the proper university life experience. It's a chance in a lifetime. While I was showered with all the blessings, I wished her wishes can be granted as well, although I know 'kita berdoa, Tuhan menentukan'...

I may not end up having many great contacts or freunden like what some of my colleagues/friends are having. However I have those that really know me well and whom I can depend on when I need to, - which is indeed, I suppose, another genuine blessing. I know not all blessings are permanent but because of that I want to be thankful and enjoy whatever I have now. They are the one that give me the strength to move on when I feel I cannot. Perhaps most importantly, just to let me feel that 'you are not alone'. What will happen when I am back to Malaysia later then? I hope, I pray, but yeah, God will decide, at the end.

Jack x

 

心·泪·雪

以为一切都恢复平静了。。。但隐隐约约中，事实，并不是那么简单。

原来过去的害怕，仍然笼罩着。

平静地看着学校2013,悟出了这份道理。

情不自禁的，眼眶湿润了，探究原因呢，也不知道再是为了什么。。。那种看似简单却夹杂着复杂的心情，不知有谁能够了解。

过去的错，也许再那么努力，也弥补不了太多什么。

我不是世界上最伟大的，我并不想假惺惺的祝福别人，但我至少也不希望别人会怎么样。。。

世界上我们所不知道的事，比我们所知道的多——所以在评论之前，尽可能全面地为别人思考一下。这样做，不知为了别人，至少自己的心，也会说得过去。


还有，巴斯下雪了，终于下雪了。

我雀跃的心，是因为它的不寻常吗？

遇上知己

今天，较上了那份draft，终于可以松一口‘小气’了！

她的出现，让我更感激我现有的幸福。学习这一个自己有兴趣的科目。有清晰的人生目标——知道自己需要什么，不需要什么。有自由与机会选择自己先换得科系。。。虽然没有成千上万的朋友，很难与‘大家’太好，却仍然有几位能够信任，、肝胆相照、分享心事的朋友。

而真正的朋友，并不只是在你需要的时候会扶你一把。她有任何事时，你会想起她。你会好想给她打个电话。你不需要刻意寻找话题，只因普通的寒暄，胜过那些所谓的一切。

曾经，我们向望着，我们近在眼前，却形同陌路；如今，我们被山河分割两地，我们远在天边，电话上的声音，却是那么的熟悉，那么的亲切，那么的温馨。

因为信任，我们不怕分享彼此心底最深处的秘密；因为了解，我们能够以本身的生活体验隐约体会对方的点点滴滴；因为互相感性，我们相信我们的深思、我们的感情，虽有时只能眼睁睁地看着对方因本身的感情问题哭地泪如涌泉，却仍能静静递上双耳、洗耳恭听、听你由命。同是天涯沦落人，相逢何必曾相识。。。

曾经，我们是斤斤计较的完美主义者；我们因年轻而任性疯狂、而行差踏错，再而知错、而领悟、而觉悟、而成熟。

往者不可谏，来者犹可追；人有悲、欢、离、合，月有阴、晴、圆、缺——此事古难全。更因此，我们应尝试有意义的度过每一天。

 海上生明月，天涯共此时——你所看到的月亮也是我看到的月亮——没有任何文字能形容我那种能够在有限的有生之年，成功找到一个属于自己的知己， 那种似乎完整的感觉。

别忘了——你所领悟的，我所明白的，咱们珍惜的——人生最重要的，就是真正度过了一个你曾经享受过人生的人生。

今晚的夜，赏心悦目，柔情似水。。。

再叙

康

康 儿

咪：

随着岁月的流逝，我们兄弟姐妹渐渐长大了。然而，母亲脸上的皱纹，也再也抵挡不了冬去春来，渐渐的，也越变越多了。。。

母亲，永远很简单。她要求不多，每次和她聊天，就是华人经典的问候语：‘吃饭了没？’“近来好吗？”，而她每次对我的总结更是简易：“好好照顾自己”。

几乎两年没有回去了——偶尔的思念，已不足挂齿，能听到他们熟悉的声音，已心满意足。

就在忙着的当儿，思绪的抽屉又不由自主地被打开了。随着静思的同时，只想送上感恩的祝福：

妈，生日快乐：）

儿
康





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圣诞夜，我深思

今天几乎就失去了行动的能力——因为拉上了背后，前几天的小巫变成了今天的大巫。。。

也就因为这样，现在连走路、静坐、躺着睡觉、微笑点头的简单事儿，也做不好。更不用说煮饭、购物了。

人永远就是这样，从来没失去的，就是不会觉得可贵。
失去了，却再也得不回来了。。。

今天是圣诞节的晚上，和朋友们一起庆祝这份美好的晚上。
巴斯的圣诞夜，是我意想不到的。
朋友们就是那么的活泼，衬托出了我的不便。

听着土耳其的故事，还蛮精彩的，却发觉，听了也好，不听也罢，只因为，原来一直以来，已为生命里最重要的一环，却原来是那么的琐碎。
还想起那周三国北欧之旅，那种忐忑上路的心，家人的支持、好友的精神鼓励、上帝的眷顾，让我顺利完成完成寂寞却仍然算是精彩的旅程。虽没有朋友的八卦陪伴着，也许自己慢慢习惯了一个人的生活——一切，还好。


今晚再次打给家里，五个弟妹都在家里了。‘姐姐’去亚庇庆祝圣诞，妈妈在家忙着做家务。接着就忙着跟每一个谈着。从二弟的新新手提电话之谈、三弟的新自行车、五弟的补习班、六弟的语文课程表，再加上四妹的泰戏分享——我，就是背后再疼，也忘了疼：）

爱，的力量。


曾经，爱错了。
但爱情，就是盲目的。
真正的爱，没有太多理由，不需太多理智。。。

幸运的，在这有生之年，很快的，顺利地，找到了属于自己另一半。
而有一些，也许是命中注定，会继续寻找，或者从不寻找。
不寻找，是因为认输了、任命了、没必要、忘不了、还是其它千千万万的理由？

很幸运的，正是因为上帝的眷顾，命运冥冥中的安排，遇上了能够让自己信赖、依靠的朋友。
真心好友不说，只要不虚假，我已心满意足。
正因为你们不时的照顾，予我勇气继续积极地活下去，给我坦然正面的面对自己，赐我力量度过每一天。。。

那位永远在适当的时候，提醒我的朋友，谢谢你。
那位默默的一直赞在我身边并不是伸出援手的，谢谢你。
那位偶尔陪伴的，谢谢你。
那位曾经伤害我的，不能了解我的，因为你而让我更成熟的，谢谢你。

还有那位需要我劝导的。你的出现让我看回以前的自己，让我重新断定属于自己的价值。看着你困惑的同时，我只能够默默体会的心情。只望你会早日走出阴霾，重新寻回真正属于自己的那条路。

圣诞之夜路上回家，那种难受的感觉，也予人一种深思的境界。



活了二十三年，也许还没有人生的一半。这条路仿佛走了好久，却还没有走完——只因为更精彩的阶段，还会在后头。。。

而最近，当责任感不泛滥时——

默默想象紧紧抱着她时，那种幸福的感觉。
 

A Friday

I must be pain in the ass to someone now...but apology when I said my heart was just not there, REALLY...

Christmas in coming. How this Christmas gonna work out this time really? I was wondering, and I am wondering...

***



***

A woman marries a man with the hope that the man will change
A man marries a woman with the hope that the woman will not change

That's why in the end, both of them end up with disappointment...

- A. Einstein -

***

Paradoxically, the person that you can hate most / can hate you most, is the person that you know / know you so well...

- JH -

Identity

I think someone may think about this problem directly, or indirectly. Some always, some never...

That's it.

To find your own identity.

Real identity.

What you want to do in your life...

What you like, and what you dislike...

What you want to have...

What you need to have...


Gradually, with the help of friends, I discover my own identity...

However, will people be happy for it, or not?

To be honest, people never care anyway - as long as you do not interfere with the tranquility in their life.

However, the society has been shaped in such a way that, people don't care about you (your happiness, especially), but they like to become judgemental, in such a way, that actually it will interfere your life...

I know, because indirectly, I am one of the 'people' too, as above...


Yet eventually...

Who you live your life for?

Is it yourself? Someone? Or others?

***

Happiness is actually just around the corner...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=70qETSuAWko


Credit to my Manchester friend :) Thank you very much :)
 

Early winter

In the early winter of Bath, I suddenly miss my friends and family, back in Malaysia, so so much...


How's Ang Ang's STPM?

What's her speciality at the end?

How are them in general?


***

I am getting further and further away from her.

Yet I know that she is getting closer and closer to her real love.

I smiled, silently, because I know I had made the right choice before.

If you know you can't make someone happy, let her go, she deserves a better one.


***

Waiting for a reply now, silently...

Jingle bell, jingle bell...


 ***

 

IQ

The topic in the lab today is about IQ.

It's quite a shame when research showed that a proportions of teenagers that should for GCSE (SPM) only have the reading ability as a 10/11-year-old.

While some people cannot understand it, I cannot understand why they generally cannot understand such a situation...

It's quite prominent like in a small town where I came from.  People that suppose to sit for the same examination have different level of intelligence (IQ).

Some people are gifted and therefore they understand many things easily and quickly, while some people may need some time to digest and take up things, while some may be even not that lucky, they try to understand but they just cannot.

Acceptability of a particular knowledge just depends on too many factors - interest, environment, family influence, brain physiology, language, etc...

Even like a pharmacist, if a patient just cannot understand what you are saying - it does not mean that they are stupid, or they pretend that they do not want to listen to you. If you try to put in more patience and empathy, may be that will make you realise that, some patients just cannot understand - why not adopt another way(s) to help him/her then? Carer, social worker, diagram, picture...

I think the main issue is due to time factor as well as "I cannot be bothered" factor - people become especially realistic once they step into work place, generally...

So if the next time if someone said they don't understand, and you know, and you have the time, why don't try to explain to him/her in a simple way? With the hope that he/she will understand - and even if he/she only partially understand or still do not get it, believe that he/she will be grateful to you, just because of your patience, willingness and generosity.

Only when you fall in the shoe(s) you start to know more about life - and sometimes I wonder - am I too lucky, or not, for that?

Too many happened

Too many happened without myself realising it, recently...

1. My birthday gift expiry date is almost due I suppose - while I need to say goodbye, I wanna say a huge thank you as well for all the good memory...

2. When you try to fight for something although you know that the outcome may be not that favourable at the end. Sounds complicated, perhaps the fighting process is enjoyable anyway. Although it is heart-breaking to get the result, perhaps you will regret if you never ever fight for it. Well, at least, that's me.

3. I know the world has always been that realistic - but when the person that you can trust most start to doubt your personality - you will continue to believe him. At the same time, you should be happy because he has grown up, or be sad because he needs to give you some hard time?

4. It is more than touched when you realise that your friends will not always abandon you (alone). However perhaps the right news will not always come at the right time.

5. Due to inspiration from prescribing course, I started to made my sibling sending me some weekly task as well online so that I can monitor his progress (lol).

6. Mom was started on some medication. I know I am looking at the BNF 63 when I gave her the counselling but at least it's better than the doctor that never tell patients anything in Malaysia...On the other hand, how can a long-term medication can just be supplied for a month?

7. I keep smiling when I looked at the latest photos of my siblings at everywhere in Malaysia. Some of them reminded me of my very own personal experience. I feel so proud of them and hope that they are always alright.

8. Finally I feel that I will go back to Malaysia and (hopefully) become a great pharmacist there. I am not sure how much that I can do but perhaps whatever that I feel is the best. I look very forward to work with some of my friends as well.