15082011 - Last Day - Farewell

Dear Boots Henleaze Team 0489:

Today is the last day of work, and too bad, late...

Anyway the whole day turns out to be the best in my life...

Get to see an MUR today, on inhalers, amazing...

Then I get a goodbye charm from Ms.Suzi. She's on wheelchair yet she's cheerful and wonderful. Her sound is loud yet clear enough. She's really the exceptional customer that is sooooooo nice, ohh...

I won;t forget her last few words: "Jackie. Come to see you. Ohh, I will miss your smile..."

Ohh...

Then finally is the moment of leaving. Dinner at Nandos turns out to be the greatest ever in my life. with English, with Colleagues, away from Bath. Unimaginable.

All the dispensers are not going. Yet I got a lovely pen and card from Gaby. Then is another 'so-called' 'present from all'- a Parker Pen and a box of chocolate, and a card again.

"You got a pen bcz you wrote a lot, a lot.."

"So I got chocolate bcz I ate lots of chocolate? Lots of?..."

That's not the explanation perhaps. Yet is it still very important at this point?

I won;t forget: Northumberland is a small town/city near Scotland border, yet not really in Scotland. Hence all the people still pay for their prescription. Too bad..."

Finally is hugs from the ladies. Thanks Jacqui. Thanks Linda. And, yeah, thanks Juliet!

Then finally is the leave home to Coronation Avenue, door-to-door delivery. Thanks pre-reg sweety... =)

There's nothing more I can request in my life, isn't it?

To Boots Henleaze Team, you are a fantastic team with all the elements of happy family.

If Malaysia is my 1st home, Bath is my second, then Boots Henleaze will be the third, definitely.

Thanks for cherishing my summer, you fella!

"You fella are the best damn thing that ever happened in my life, ever!"

"The hardest word to say is goodbye, always."

With lots of love and regard,

Jackie

The light of my life

Not feeling too well now...

生活中除了爱情，还有亲情和友情。。。

我尝试了，居然冥冥中怎样也不会相遇，我，累了。。。

是时候好好醒过来了。

不是不曾努力过，而是到了最后，无缘就是无缘。

不是过来人就不会明白那种感觉，明明很想见，但到了门前，连按门铃前都要犹豫很久很久，而最后，当提出勇气按门铃后，那种空虚和失望的感觉，很无奈。

***

明天就是工作的最后一天，很不舍得，只因Boots Henleaze, 真的是很温馨的家庭。

昨晚还做了一场离别前夕的梦，梦境的故事，忘了，但梦境让我流出的泪水，体验出的悲哀，则倒是真实的。

曾经读过，梦，大致上有五种：
梦是日有所思，夜有所梦。
梦是感官的刺激感应。
梦是心灵相通。
梦是垃圾讯息的结合。
梦是愿望的达成。

我不再奢望我的梦是三，有好多，应属于一二四，而也许我能真正向往的，是五。

***

好久已没有这么情绪化了，不知为何。。。

万籁俱寂，Coronation Avenue 很静很静。今夜的月亮，看起来，很远很远。

而团圆的那一日，就象今晚的皎洁明媚的月亮一样，很远很远。。。

Farewell

I just need to blog before I forget the incident today again.

Today on 'emergercy request' I am switched from Henleaze to Whiteladies Road aka Black Boy Hill, still at Bristol.

Not really emergency as I get the notice one day earlier anywhere.

Yet the experience today is another eye-opening experience for me.

It's quite fun to have chance to work in a different store. A little bit changes in environment. Yet of course you are still doing the same job: dispensing, healthcare advising, stocking, etc.

Special thanks to Sarah (dispenser), Nic (Pharmacist 1) and Karen/Caryn/(similar sound) (Pharmacist 2)...

A good bond that I can established between pharmacists and pharmacies...

Indeed experience today makes me miss and appreciate Henleaze even more than I ever thought.

That's indeed human nature, you never appreciate a single stuff till you lost it, and sometimes, completely.

Indeed everything is fated in the end. Initially I should go to this small store on the hill of Whiteladies Road yet I am transferred to Henleaze at the end, on 'emergency'. And now by chance I come back again, just that I don;t have the chance to see Rob, as again.

Ir's fated in your life: who's you gonna meet and where and when. Sometimes you wanna meet someone yet just never ever meet them again. Sometimes you really don;t wanna meet someone yet he/she will just appear in front of your eyes. How many you eat, how much you drink, FATED, silently...

It's not an excuse to be irresponsible to your though. People always misunderstand me at the end. Well, take my words: It's NOT an excuse to be irresponsible, to make mistakes, to be forgiven 100%, with the childish thought that everything is FATED.

Everyone deserve to be happy in the end, as Gaby said, when you thought you are in the hot soup, it can be worse.

When you complaint of having awful food for your lunch, think of the food crisis at Somalia...
When you complaint of having insufficient sale for Health Promotion Event, how about those people that determined to find some money legally by selling The Big Issue yet life just seems so hard, beside the street?

***

Finally I hate myself still, not too much, yet in the end I still hold on something that I should not.

Perhaps I can be worse, yet, behind the smiling face, I start to be a little bit moody...

I miss DH suddenly. Yet I should not meet him again. I should not.

***

A good friend of mine is apparently disappointing with me.

Indeed, but please, can you DO NOT punish yourself because of me?

Indeed I am still the Jackie that gonna listen to all your ups and downs, still be waiting silently for your occasional messages, and will be smiling silently to give you the moral support.

Indeed I never ever thought of any friend as a burden to me, never as a waste of my time...

Especially you.

You know what I am talking about. As I said, as you said, everyone deserve to be happy.

You remember saying that during my downs? Maybe, but I never ever forget that, when you are at the peninsula.

So promise me, no matter what, you will take care of yourself, please.

***

Boots songs for this year will come to an end.

To my colleagues, when I said I should come again, I mean it.

Yet it's never ever my mean to see Elena poisoned or see Juliet shaking her head as I am working extra half day...

Well well Elena, see that in your coffee, maybe next time, LOL~

And thanks also to Lewis to give me a personal ID even though I just a very very temporary staff at Whiteladies Road, and thanks to remind Sarah to show me the bus stop, in case I cannot be home...

Another marvelous place with post office and Lloyds Bank =)

I know you all know English but thinking of presenting this song to you all =)



And for dear, with my prescription still in your hand, go for this one, alright?

只因我隐性的肩膀，永远陪在你身边=）

I will never forget

My Boots experience almost comes to an end...

Yet I must write down everything today, as I don't wanna forget...

I will never forget, when I and Munira need to chase a customer to return her Advantage Card.
I will never forget, when I need to serve my colleagues and still pretend that they are just another regular customer.
I will never forget, when I chat happily about dispensing, cultures and others with my dispensers.
I will never forget, when I am reminded of the greatness of mother's love - hate yet love you always.
I will never forget, when I almost cry at toilet sometimes prior to moving house.
I will never forget, when I need to call out my own name yet actually is another person with same name as me.
I will never forget, when Juliet keep telling me, no worries.
I will never forget, when Juliet shows great flexibility yet no bureaucracy to me.
I will never forget, when Juliet signpost me to Eastgate for the Care Home Service.
I will never forget, when Elena keep asking me: are you alright? (as I am always lost...)
I will never forget, when Gaby shows her professionalism in healthcare service interaction.
I will never forget, when Sue shows the smiling and patient face for the funny coins.
I will never forget, when Linda asking my details about Malaysia at the till.
I will never forget, when I see the exhausted faces of Jacqui after chasing some shoplifter.
I will never forget, when  I see Lewis is more than angry for some very "good" customers.
I will never forget, when I see the grand celebration for Leanne's success in passing pre-reg.
I will never forget, when I heard Ann dispenser feel so proud of her beautiful sons.
I will never forget, when I can discuss weird prescription(s) with Ann pharmacist.
I will never forget, when I see the happy face and hear the happy tone of Aamaia doing MUR.
I will never forget, when I need to actually respect different behaviour of people - confidence!
I will never forget, when I have forgotten my keys (last minute) in the training room...
I will never forget, when Juliet consult me on pharmacy system in Malaysia for emergency cases of a travelling patient at Malaysia.
I will never forget, when I am praised by Juliet, recognising the hardworks that I have done (Ju: as I just don't want you to be too tired...).

Indeed I am given and showered with more than what I have expected at this small yet happy and warm family. Feel neglected sometimes yet I keep telling myself:

感恩我所拥有的，感谢我所没有的。

感动于实在在的，感触于现在在的。

只因现在一去不复返。

I am more than grateful to God for being given the chance for this new, exciting, meaningful and thoughtful summer...

Bel été, apprécier!

而最后，只想轻轻，徐徐得带过另外一份生活的感触：

初恋是一首甜美的歌。

至少能够与曾经爱过的人在一起，即使时间短暂，也万分珍惜。

而“我爱你”果然是最简单的词语，却也是最难说出口的华语。

爱你，不只是嘴上的，更是心上的。

最后，感谢你让我没有遗憾的离开。

遥远的，是距离；不变的，是心灵。

Diary so far - before leaving 7

Yesterday I met a very lovely old lady:
"Jackie, do you still remember me?"

I am astonished on the 1st place, with her ability to remember the name of this small staff, in the usual store called Boots The Chemist - Henleaze.

She came to collect her photos. And in the end:

"Thanks Ms. Nash. Please come again. God bless you."

As your small action makes up the smile of my whole day =)

Indeed that's the power of small deed indeed. Some customer is a complete headache, yet some, are just sooooooooooooo lovely!

***

Then I saw another small kid, kiddo, girl, maybe 6-8 years old.
Small cutie little pinkie.

She came to pay for 3 mouthwashes on 3 for 2 offer, plus a clearance item of lipgloss.

"Right, that's 4.XX, do you have Boots Card with you?"
She just keeping moving her head, saying no no, very shy girl...
"Do you need a bag?"
Again is another sign of no no.
She said, "I can carry them"
I cannot imagine how such tiny hands can hold 3 bottles of mouthwashes, kind of heavy for her age...
"I'll give you a small bag, alright?"
She smiled =)
"Is that for yourself?"
"Nah, the mouthwashes are for mommy...The lipgloss...for myself"
And another charming smile =)
"Right then. Take care sweety =)"

Perhaps indirectly I do love children. I never realise that. I don't really understand how a small cutie girl, can kill all my anger and headache due to previous customers...And makes up one of my afternoon =)

May be I will be a good daddy in the future, if I got the chance. Well, will me?

***

The day seems busy while I am working at Boots Henleaze. Busy, I am tired of standing at counter sometimes...I wanna do dispensary, well well...

Then last night I had a bad nausea. I vomited in the toilet of my future house. In the end I had to take the night bus, rush to my new house, just to get the traditional chinese oil that I had moved previously. So stupid!

Never imagine I can be as sick as this. I just feel want to faint soon. Soon.

Then I even think about whether I will be able to work the next day. I don;t wanna sacrifice my holidays due to this stupid nausea. Don;t want!

So the next day I kept myself asleep on the bus for the whole journey. So that I won;t wake up and feel sick half way. Don;t wanna vomit at Brislington or Salford or Temple Meads...

Then even my manager can sense my state of falling sick.
Juliet, Elena, especially: Are you alright?

I told myself: I should be alright.

That manager kept reminding me: Do not drink the milk that you bought this morning!

And he reminded me three times, with the disbelieving eye...

What the...

Anyway as I always know, 天无绝人之路。山重气水复疑无路，柳暗花明又一村。

With the bless of the smile of the customers, I felt thousand times better =)

Thank God =)

I don;t wanna think too much anymore. As long as I have done all the good deeds in my life, I believe my life will be blessed in the end.

Just like when I writing this blog. I thought I cannot write in Chinese anymore. Yet there's always sunshine behind the black clouds =)

***

My pre-reg is leaving, to become a relief soon.

That Friday is the life-changing point for her

An official letter from General Pharmaceutical Council, followed by a huge happy cry. Passed！

Then is the hugs from all the female staffs.

And finally, a big lovely sweety double double chocolate cake from Linda!

(Well, it tastes more like horlicks cake to me...)

Anyway, wish you all the best for your future, you are bright, be more confident, Leanne!

See you soon, if we got the chance, in the future =)

Like when we collide on the bus to Blackboy Hill today =)

PHARMACIST, officially =)

***

There's one night when of the dispenser send a text message to her sons:
"You fella are the best thing that I ever made in my life. I will always love you all."

"Mom, are you gonna throw yourself over the bridge soon?"

"No..."

"Mom, you are confusing and misleading..."

Anyway, that's a mother's love.

God cannot be with us 24 hours a day, that;s why we have mama =)

Sounds so childish yet so true, indeed =)

***

I kept telling myself to keep a diary for my works in these 7 weeks.

I will definitely miss Juliet, Elena, Gaby, Anne 1, Anne 2, Sue, Linda, Jacqui, Leanne, Lewis, Priyankaa and maybe soon, Munira.

Time flies. In the end I just don;t realise that: This is week 5. And 2 more weeks to go...

Just like when I shift my house: In the end there's only 2 days left. I will miss the old house. Especially after the incident today.

I thought I have nothing left in this house anymore, other than the brightest memory and laughter, with few spices with Wei Chern, Kenny and Guarino...

Yet may be, I am wrong...

Izinkan saya untuk mengundur diri, secara senyap-senyap...

Kerana sesungguhnya saya tidak mahu pergi dengan linangan air mata...

To all, it's a fantastic ten months with you all.

7, in memory. I will miss you. take good care of yourself. I shall visit you one day, if I am given the chance by that fella...

***

全国最佳辩员，坚强些。时间会冲淡一切的。

真的，我意想不到的，过了这么久，原来我比想像中的更坚强 =）

请原谅我的忙碌，但今天的事情让马上想到你。

我对你的支持，是二十四小时的。只因我的prescription,永远守候着你，不曾expire =)

雨后的彩虹最娇艳美丽=）

***

犀利妹为了爱情几乎变成行尸走肉，自残。

大C 为了爱情葬身罗里下，众人泣不成声。

问世间：情为何物？

***

What you see with your eyes, may not be true.

As behind the scene, waves waving, winds winding, rain raining...

You cannot see my love, my hatred, my mixed feeling...

我想念下雨的时刻，稀里哗啦的声音，大自然的神奇，给与那份真实的亲切感。

好想听听那雨点打在屋顶上的声音，但住在巴斯，就是奢望，吧？

无奈，依依不舍，人面桃花，又如何？

也许这将是我离别的最佳心情写照=）