What is happening ???

Sometimes just wanna tear myself, into pieces.

Recently, the symptom is really haunting me. I start to think more on those unrealistic, scary, and even evil, thinkings.

Truthfully, sometimes even after surfing facebook, back to the papers for a while, then my mind will fly to somewhere else.

I tried to push myself sometimes, stop all those non-sense thinkings! They are just not achievable! They are impossible! Stop it!

Even the dream that I had for the past night, for the 1st time, is so clear, yet it's quite scary as well...

I start to see I have to beg someone not to leave me, and then dreams around my friends, mostly, which is just...***...

I am not really sure what that means, and this is a critical revision period, and somehow I am haunted by...

I have to say that I don;t really have control on my mind sometimes. I am glad that my mind is truly functional most of the time. I start to realise that I am so observant in my life, till a state that I feel so ridiculous.

I don't want to be observant! I wanna be ignorant! Yet my personality won't simply allow it, isn;t it? I don;t know, yet sometimes it's hard to face all the consequences. My mind is good in interpreting many things. Yet sometimes i myself have to force it to stop interpreting.

It's tiring, it's really tiring.

My sleeping time is getting longer and longer. And even after almost 8 hours of sleep, I will always be so tired after 1st time waking up. I must get a 2nd sleep to be slightly better. And this has been the 3rd day, consecutively.

Truthfully I am only revising, and I shouldn;t be so tired till such a state. I am sure I am physically healthy, just haunted by sensitive teeth, some excessive urination and now, mind problem?

Sometimes I feel like I have double personalities. There's some stage in the day when I will feel that selfishness is not wrong, and i can be cruel to anyone...AND I KNOW THAT'S RIDICULOUS! I have to constantly reminding myself to STOP IT! STOP IT!

I am more than happy to see my own progression at this revision period. Yet why suddenly a crash like this? Can I stop the crash? Can I stop missing someone? I am happy to speak to my friends and my family now, what happen? I am CONFUSED!!!

And wanna stop my addiction to facebook, seriously. It's more productive to do something else than facebook. And sometimes I feel like I wanna crash my laptop into pieces, to stop any desire.

I know if everything is still not right, then I know I must do something, very soon...