蓝天白云下

Sunshine ^^ Rainbow ^^ Aurora ~

Life, moves on :)

Sunday, 21 March 2010

Dear Londoner and Bathonion Friends...




Thanks to make free time to come to visit Bath, although it's 2 hours journey from here! So pleased and happy to meet all familiar faces again (plus some new faces, which is good, as I really love to meet new, hospitable friend)...Still remember all the 'dian dian di di' at UCSI, where we just be crazy together...and same thing can just happen at Bath!

Personally none of the Bathonion (all BB in this case) knows that you all actually arrived at 12.15am! We really thought that you all will arrive one day earlier! Gosh, must say 'xin1 ku3 ni3 le0' to Yean and Carol in this case, they have been bored, doing nothing for about 1 hour at bus station, I think! I myself has promised myself to rush back asap to accept Daniel and co. when you all arrived! Hehe...

And a sincere apology to you all for not able to accompany you all to travel around Bath at the Saturday! I admit that have bought the ticket to Stonehedge (and Salisbury) earlier...Initially I suggest Yea to incorporate the Stonehedge plan in the plan for this time, yet what she says is true, Bath city has so many fascinating stuff not to missed out, and you all will waste almost half day (or more, just to travel back and fro to Stonehedge!), which sounds not really worth it!

And I personally wanna thanks you all for let us have the opportunity to play Mafia in such a 'meriah!' manner! So long I don't play it already...Kristle hold the highest record for being the killer (6/7! almost 100%! You can switch from lawyer to professional killer already! This is followed by Kep (or Cap? Whatever lah...), followed by me??? Whatever lah...

I don't know how's the journey will ends up at this Sunday...Personally Carol and me wanna apology to all of you as we need to leave you all earlier, as we have to rush for Group Work discussion, since we're having a formal presentation at Monday! 'Gan jiong ah~~~'I feel
有点遗憾 as I can't send you all to bus stop / train station at the end...Yet please come to Bath again next time OK? There's still many wonderful stuffs at Bath waiting to be discovered by you all!

I would like to take opportunity to thank Londoners again to provide us with accommodation and being a professional guide when bring us to travel around London Area! I forget how many times already...yet really thanks! Especially to Daniel that always lend his room to me, and Jin May that lend her room for my luggage storage that day...of course not forgetting Swee San, Charvine, Aylwin, Kristle, Kep, Serena, etc...etc...

And I would like to take this opportunity to give special thanks to Yean & co. especially, for planning the itinery and doing most of the things...This include Carol and Kenny as well (as usual...hehe...). We as the backstage only manage to give our support as much as we can...Personally I admit that I have a not very good sense of direction...so please don't expect me to read map or bring you all travel around as the big head!!! Oh my...

Anyway, it's really nice to have you all at this weekend...At least I manage to find some calmness at the same time...I won't feel
依依不舍 as I know I'll meet most of you again very soon! London, Paris, Amsterdam! 3 major cities! look forward for our re-union! =)


Friday, 19 March 2010

Watch and see

how cruel life can get you.

how you can be immune of everything.

how you can tougher than before.

how you can put trust in people that betrayed you.

how much smile you have to fake before you can truly smile from the bottom of your heart.

how funny life can go.

how your story will develop from here. 

Dear friend, that's all you need to do. Sit back and watch.

=)

Citation: Yean Hui

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

新光

对这个世界如果你有太多的抱怨
跌倒了就不敢继续往前走
为什麼人要这麼的脆弱 堕落
请你打开电视看看
多少人为生命在努力勇敢的走下去
我们是不是该知足
珍惜一切 就算没有拥有

不要这么容易就想放弃  
追不到的梦想 换个梦不就得了
为自己的人生鲜艳上色 先把爱涂上喜欢的颜色
笑一个吧 功成名就不是目的
让自己快乐快乐这才叫做意义

性格与命运就像种树。也许以前欠缺照顾,已长大的树种得不好;
现在的你,手上有着优质的种子,播种了,
虽然一夜间不会长成大树,但是你知道,
只要你不断地悉心照顾,浇水,施肥,拔草,
日后的收成,必是最甜美最丰厚的果实。=)

Citation from: Carol Chang

Sunday, 14 March 2010

Everything is just repetition...

Everything is just repetition...




That's why I tried to live as best as I can at present now...
That's why I want to try to value every moment when we are together (regardless of others being appreciative or not)...
That's why I repeated and repeat my statement thousands of times: If in doubt, ask me. I always ready to being truthful, just that sometimes I forget to tell or don't realise that I should explain my action (this and that, bla bla bla...)...Just don;t suffer in silence, and make a fast conclusion, and use it to interpret my personality for most of the time...


I know that my care towards others are not fake or artificial...They really come from the heart core...
I know I'm worry when other's seems to show some symptoms of sickness like cough, fever, insomnia...
As I faced it before...I know life is quite hard with those stuffs...and I just don;t want see others to suffer in the same thing again...
I know I want to see my friends being well and happy...


I'm more than happy to see some of the friends's positive progress, more than willing to accept me...
I'm thankful for those friends that always stay by my side...being willing to lend their ears and their precious time...
I'm grateful for those friends that show understanding towards my situation now, and stil willing to guide me, sometimes ...
Currently I can't deny that I'm under stress and quite depressed due to academic as well as health, emotional issue...I know I'm on recovery now yet sometimes deviation from equilibrium still occur....


I wish I can be as rational as before...Not putting too much hope and emotions in a single pot...
I know I got significant personality change from Malaysia to UK...
Even myself sometimes also confused with my own thinkings...
Now only I realised why the experts says that thinking is a powerful stuff...
Once you lose control on it...Your emotion, physical well being, relationship with those around you, all will be affected to certain extent...


And that;s more than what I can agree now...
Now I have to be careful when wake up every morning...
To assure my emotion and calmness is not severely affected...
Sometimes I need to choose to be silent...
Not because I want to suffer in silence...
I just don;t want to disturb my brain;s equilibrium...


Hostel is like a hotel to me now...
I sleep, lunch, dinner, and internet in my own...
And outstation most of the time...
I'm still too young for outstation, is it?


Yet I really have no choice...
Sometimes life is cruel indeed...
Choose between facing loneliness and study well, or choose to be worry, confused and stressed in the room most of the time?
So again, thinking is not something that we really can control 100% with our awareness...
That's why some people are driven to madness...


There will be another gathering and then, vacation for me soon...
I love gathering, It let me meet or re-meet with the friends from where I can get my full support...
I just wanna meet them...be happy together...and forget my anxiety and worry, at least for a while...
I'm more than happy to see their purely happy face...
Although truthfully speaking...I may not be as happy as them...
Happiness is something that don;t really belong to me...
Every time with some short happiness then bigger obstacle will come...
Sometimes I can smile and accept it wholeheartedly...
Yet sometimes I'll think that it is too much already...Then I know my worry will come again...


I love my vacation too...
Not to say really love...
Yet I value new experience and culture that I'm going to meet...or have met...
And I'm thankful to those friends that willing to give me a chance to fly with the them...
I know I can;t forget my academic life 100%...
Yet at least I'm more relieved?


After wake up tomorrow morning...
Same life cycle repeated again...
Study...Eating...Toilet...and Chatting with friends, sometimes...
That's not a lifestyle...
Yet that's what JH adhered to know...
As a responsibility...
Although
He may still lose his concentration, sometimes...


I pray to God:
May my family, my friend (and myself) be well and happy...









Saturday, 13 March 2010

避风的港湾

来到英国的秋天。。。

有史以来最寒冷的冬天。。。

充满未知数的春天。。。

那是不是我一直向往的夏天?


游子在天涯。。。
心灵在流浪。。。
身体在放荡。。。
思想在飞翔。。。

哪里才是我避风的港湾?

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

给我最爱的朋友们


喜歡下雨,因為你不會知道我流淚....
喜歡發呆....因為你不會知道我想你....
喜歡孤單....因為你不會發現我愛你....
喜歡在你身邊....因為你是我快樂的唯一因素 ...

Sunday, 7 March 2010

Life is full of Uncertainty


逃避.不一定躲的過;

面對.不一定最難受;

轉身.不一定是軟弱;

孤單.不一定不快樂;

得到.不一定能長久;

失去.不一定不再有...

也許你現在所做的決定可以影響你的一生!


Cited from Ong Khye Yang

Saturday, 6 March 2010

Calm day...

Calm day...

After storm at the morning...

I know the rain may come again...

Just hope that...It won't come so early :)

When the winter has gone...

I believe I'll see the most beautiful spring :)

May sunshine always be with me,

my friend...

and my family...

I know I'll have the brightest sunshine at Malaysia...

Yet,

who say there's no sunshine at UK?

Friday, 5 March 2010

不想流浪



我想要每天定时回去。。。

我想要每天定时吃饭。。。

我想要每天定时和我的floormate聊天。。。

然而。。。

嗯。。。


我心不想再流浪。。。

我只想要回家。。。

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

A Reflection...

When going to Portsmouth, Zest Tan says that I'm looked bored throughout the entire journey...

That may sounds rude, yet his words really reminded me something important: I have no special interest in my life...

It's not that I'm not enjoying the scenery at Plymouth, yet various factors really causes me to not enjoying my trip fully compared to others...Yet I know that I should be thankful to Zest Tan and his aunt, for sure, as I can feel Zest's effort to bring the best trip at Plymouth to us in that few short days...

And I suddenly realised this is a problem, actually...

Yet once the heart has been shaped...It cannot be changed easily...and this is the mindset that really accompanying me since Primary 6...

Life hardship teaches me that I have to work hard to change my family life for the better...I still remember my mom works so hard when I was young...I know I'm a quite obedient son...I helped the best that I can yet my ability as a child is so limited at that time...

And I realise that only education can change my family life (I don't think I should put 'my life' as the priority)...

Since then, I worked very hard...especially during PMR period...I realised that actually that's the period when secondary school students at Malaysia should enjoy their life...yet I ignore that...And when I realised that I missed a lot of memorable moment with my secondary school friends...I'm quite 遗憾 too... Yet the feeling is not so strong at that time...

Yet when I started my new life at a new country...Friends suddenly becomes increasingly important to me...I started to 'rearrange' my life priority...Yet in the end I realised that things do not always work out in the way that I desired...I tried to mix well with my  friends yet...

And I suddenly feel I wanna learn from where I should listen to the new songs...where to see the new movie...etc etc...Sometimes I tried to ask others...yet some of them seems quite ignorant...And I don't push much as perhaps this is not a too-big issue, really.

Yet perhaps learning all those things at this time is some what quite late now...

I remembered CE told me before: You are not robot...

I remembered my dad told me before: Eat when you wanna wat...Sleep when you wanna sleep...

I'm wondering: Is this the 1st time he meets his eldest son?

So I'm not enjoying my life totally now...And that's no other's fault than myself...

Yet I glad to see that my siblings know how to enjoy their own life...大弟know how to enjoy the newest movie and watch it...二弟 know how to go out with friends...小妹know where to download newest English songs and listen to it at the highest volume till my mum get mad sometime...(Hehe...)

I'm glad that at least they don't fall into the same trap as me...I'm glad that although we're under the same influence (same genetic-lah!)...They managed to stand out in their own ways...

And at least for this short period, I'm sure I can't leave out everything all at once...If you force me to take a day off...It's like almost kill me...I know this is a very wrong mindset yet once a porcelain is moulded it takes time to reshape it...

Plus, do I really wanna re-shape it?

I don't know, I just know that...I still need to concentrate on my studies at this moment...If I can't concentrate in my room for physical or emotional reason(s), then I should starting to find alternatives...

One of my biggest hope for this moment is to see my siblings succeed in their studies...And I really wanna see them graduate successfully from University...And I know that I have to take the 1st step then....Someone has to make the sacrifice...And I'm more than willing to do it...If I'm given choice, I think I'll choose the same route, perhaps...I'll rather let myself 'suffer' than to see my siblings suffer as well...

So its not my body don't want to enjoy his life...He wants...Yet he realised that his heart will not allow it...