Halloween Night

My housemate's grandparents came visit him today.

Yet at this Halloween night, it suddenly reminded me of my families, I suddenly miss them so much.

I started to be confused with all types of human relationships - I don;t know if they are sincere or pretending. They just sounds - so real... - and I am indeed - tired to care anything anymore...

I know I will still have to smile, and I know I will. Yet I don;t know who I should talk to anymore this year...

Eventually - the day will come ...

秋去冬来

秋去冬来。。。

静静地坐在巴斯清澈的湖边：

碧雲天，黃葉地， 秋色連波，波上寒煙翠。 

山映斜陽天接水， 芳草無情，更在斜陽外。 

黯鄉魂，追旅思， 夜夜除非，好夢留人睡。 

明月樓高休獨倚， 酒入愁腸，化作相思淚。

我很想从此不听不看不闻不问。。。

然而，我，做不到。。。

At that Moment of Reflection

The session when I was preparing some 'red eggs' in the kitchen... Thermoreceptor reflex arc made me put down the egg quickly...yet sudddenly there's a sudden reflection in my mind...

We always busy counting how other person treat us and rate them from scale 0 to 10, then will give a score, maybe 0.5 or 1 or 4.758 or 9.9, who knows? We mumbling if we feel others have mistreat us and feel that we should always be treated in the best manner (as part of human nature - self-centred), yet at the same time, when we feel that the distance between your friend and yourself is getting further and further - till a twinning point - where you just don;t know him/her anymore - is it because of you? Or him/her? Or both? Or none?

Ask yourself what have you done for others. Life is not an absolute must.

And because of that - I'll rather continue to believe my friend - with sincerity, as I know - life will be easier in that way =)

When it's a point to come to fill your heart with love or hatred, it's your choice. And I believe, everyone will select a choice that makes his/her life easier =)

Random reflection, it;s sound so true, yet perhaps sometimes in life- there's just something that we don't need to think too much..  

Birthday - Friendship

Today is the birthday.

A day that I should celebrate but don;t really feel to celebrate this year.

A lot of birthday wishes from everywhere: Thanks guys!

A birthday that teaches me all about friends

Reminds me that I have lost some friends

Reminds me that I still have some distant yet strongly remaining friendship

Reminds me that when I want to maintain, the full stop has come to an end

Reminds me who my genuine friends are

When my age increased by one year

I suddenly realise that my wisdom and maturity have to increase too

My birthday wishes are:
If I can have some great friend that knows me and I should know him/her
If I can achieve mutual transparency and understanding between us
If he/she will know that I never forget our friendship and still wish the best for him/her

Indeed when I saw that cake, I don;t have to make a wish as I know what I should wish

Sitting in front of the laptop
Seniors, juniors, friends, colleagues, housemates
Suddenly everything just cross my mind

To the University that teaches me the 1st wisdom in my life
Thanks for let me grow
Even in sadness, disappointment and frustration sometimes
As each fallen leaf, blossom flower and melting snow
Will curve my lifetime memory

Jek(yll)

October B'day II

Thanks for everyone that came and celebrated my birthday at 171 =)

That's where real friendship are =)

Jack, happy birthday =)

October Birthday

Too many happened recently...

Don't know why...

I just don't really feel to celebrate my birthday this year...

Happy birthday to Anna, Wai Han, Liliu, Evelyn, Yean Hui and Vickie.

Feliz cumpleaños!

Genuine Friendship

真心朋友，一世拥有。

因友爱，心甘情愿，欢喜接受，感恩惜福。

From relationship to fitness to practice

一份简单的质疑，让我重新评估，我，还是错了。。。

一个人，想真心待人的同时，种种种种的理由，似乎让人退却，却万万不是理由的理由。。。

被质疑的同时，同时看会那些不成型的肯定，很突然的，一切都变得很值得。

真心待人不须条件。人生只因为对而做，而学，而成长。

***

而最后，果然，我们当初的推断，果然还是对了。

曾经，为了一份犹豫不决的希望，忐忑不安着。

而最后，我仍然没有忘记我的祷告——

上帝冥冥中的安排，是否意味着——永远的放弃？

***

'Will you harm yourself or others?'

'None at all.'

'Then you will be a great pharmacist then.'

Fitness to practice, is as simple as that.

记忆的框框

最近生病了，蛮严重的。鼻涕流不完。。。唉。。。

偶然的，不知为何，突然想起我十岁时所发生的事。。。

那时，家里出了一点问题。。。
那时，我身为长子却不能体会她的感受。她的责怪、发脾气，我当时看成无理取闹。。。

现在回想，深深感叹，也许年纪太小，所以不能体会她当时最深切的感受。为了一场家事，精神上的紧张、心理上的忐忑不安、对未来的不定数所存有的恐惧感。想必当时她也想到我们这几粒小瓜的未来。。。

就是因为太年轻、太幼稚，所以不明白。母亲始终并不是铁人。她，一直以来，默默地坚强着。所以我们忘了，她也有垮下的日子。她仍须我们关心、在意。

后来，又以为自己长大了，但就在飞来英国前，家里又是另外一份类似的家事。。。

而也许，就这样，我日后的人生，也稍微改写了一次。。。

不知为何，记忆永远是最random的人生之路。就在你平平静静的日子里，掀起偶尔的涟漪。

燕子飞了，杨苗枯了。。。而留下的，是否仍是最重要的？

人生充满了许多假象。但真既是假，假既是真的当儿，一切，是否仍然那么重要？

实实在在的友情，亲情，人情——我歌颂着、我吟唱着、我感激着——

感谢继续给我力量的=）

我，并不值得。

有些安慰，有些牺牲。。。

我，看在眼里，记在心里。

但也许，我，并不值得。