Short stories before off for 2nd Semester

Exam
Sometimes you need more than hard work and luck, to pass / 'score' flying colours in the exam...

Home-hunting
Today some girls has started to bump into our house. 2-3 groups.
It's implying the moment to leave soon.
It's a nice house really. Understanding housemates (most of the time/provided NOT get drunk), quiet most of the time, and yeah, saying at least 'hey ya' and 'morgan!' won;t do much harm.
When I am home just now, another of my housemate is off for the last exam as well~
The end of the 1st semester means house hunting has to start again really soon.
I have been receiving bad news for this issue even one day before my first paper...
So, what else?

I find an inner peace and strength in this new house, new room, new housemates.
And when I was together with the viewer just now, everyone like my room, so so much.
Then Ben said, we give you this one because this is the best room in the house.
Only to realise that after staying here for almost half of the year.
How many God's blessings that actually pass through me, just like that, unnoticed.
Indeed He's still kind enough to me...

171, I love you, so much. I may not have the nostalgic feeling like in others.
But, it's YOU.


Good FRIEND
Today just receive a message from my best friend (may be, more than that).
She's down, since the 1st day of Chinese New Year.
I only remember about it, after I finished my exam.
Such a bad best friend of me.

When our fate is so similar...
When we worked so hard and still disspointed in the end...
What else that cannot come?
 
Yet : "It's just God's trick to make us stronger. And, at least, we got each other."

A friend in need is a friend, indeed.

Sorry for not being able to be beside at your worst time ever, perhaps.

If we can listen to each other's advice...

Don;t stop helping others, yet how much, yet, disappointment, that should come?

Being in Bath 
Thanks for always reminding me how lucky I am to be in Bath.
All the hardship, yet all the rewards as well.
Dear, you are indeed as well. At least you get it. You just have to move on. Do NOT give up.
I mean, when about thousands others struggling even to get into local universities, what else that we can expect?


Friendship Quoting
Quoting an extract from one of my friend that always offer me new inspiration in life:


"上段恋情,全心投入,结果重伤.于是这次恋爱怕受伤,就很保留。这意味着:上次那个伤你的烂人,得到最完整的你,而这次这个发展中的情人,得到个很冷 淡的你。我知你是保护自己,但这若是做生意,你这店一定倒的。永不再來的恶客,得到最好服务,而新客上门,却备受冷落,这店怎么不倒?"
(蔡康永)

Thanks for the quote of quote.

Off soon
Off to Malta and Belgium soon.
Arabic, French and German, harmonious blend of languages and cultures and religions...
Just like Malaysia.
My Malaysia.

“我”

终于，用回最熟悉的华文了。

昨晚和家人网上聊天，原来今年叔叔、小舅和阿姨都在我那儿过年。情况一定热闹非凡！看着一些熟悉的面孔，心里并没有太酸，没有太苦，似乎有点甜，但又不是带来平淡的感觉。。。

听着爆竹上的霹雳哗啦响声，新的一年又到了。团圆饭的晚上，好多的我们都为隔日的试卷作最后冲刺！有些朋友，有正式的大扫除，又很温馨的团圆饭。自己平平淡淡的，也许越来越习惯孤单的感觉，反正明年，命中注定，找屋子是需要一个人独撑。。。但，会熬过来的。

做着冲刺，才了解，自己已经为了考试，太久的：“我应该。。。I THINK。。。我等一下。。。”。。。偶然想起家人，想起朋友-似乎realise到：原来我们每一个人不但有academic responsilibility, 但也有所谓的social responsibility. 我一直想着，考试啊考试啊。。。但后来当我知道家人团聚在一起时，at least 也skype 一下，不为了什么，就只为了这份social responsibility...

同样的，又是温习时，仍会想起一些朋友。。。而至少在第一次需要考试的农历新年，还有几位好友的virtual陪伴，很不离不弃的。他们也明白我考试的忙碌。。。一些简单的good luck charm, 至少让我醒悟：也许我并不是100% 孤单。。。

同时也打电话给大弟，回到大学了却没得上课。。。怪可怜的。幸好他很steady，并没怎样。平淡的语气，我突然间想: 噢，到底是谁长大了？但我仍感受到我们兄弟姐妹之间永远的那种，很与众不同的感情线。。。我看着好多朋友，好多好多，有些和兄弟姐妹都不错，但永远是活在自己的世界；有些更甚，关系紧张，或淡地离奇，让我不可思议。

我明白，每个人，是individual, 长大了都有自己的世界，但偶尔去关心他们、听听他们的想法、告诉他们一些道理，并没有错吧？我庆幸自己即使在国外，和兄弟姐妹的关系，依然融洽。至少，我可以告诉他们，我的一些心声，至少，我从他们每个不同的personality里，学习更多。身为哥哥，我学习包容他么偶然的无理取闹，我锻炼自己的记忆力，告诉自己不要忘记他们每个人的生日，我告诉自己一定要做好榜样。。。也许并不100%称职，但我知道，我，仅的是全力，是本份。。。而他们，欣慰地，也一样。。。

而看着他们茁壮的成长成人，我知道应该担心谁的什么。活了23年多，人生阅历依然浅显，但我很想知道，若一天，他们面对同样的人生挫折而觉得彷徨无助时，一个叫大哥的，将会静静地，陪伴在他们的身边，会仔细聆听他们的一字一句。

因而这样，我不想我的生活之以自我为中心。也许这样的生活态度被称为‘normal'。自私自利的人生。。。若这样。。。我宁愿成为那’abnormal’ 的一群。我叮嘱自己，要好好生活，可以有自己的思想，但不能不尊重他人的思想，可以有自己的生活空间，但不能忘了自己是群体的一部分，不能忘了要协助别人，不能忘了自己的social responsibility...

最近考试准备偶尔分心，偶尔回到大自然。。。内心又再次平静。。。原来，果然，人来自大自然，属于大自然，而终有一天，也必须回到大自然的身边。。。落花不是无情物，化作春泥更护花。。。

还有还有，千万别临时抱佛脚。Last minute 抱佛脚的人，即使多努力拚命不眠不休，想必情况仍欠佳？至少这是我从别人和自己慢慢领悟到的。。。所以：今天写下一切，叮嘱自己，不能忘记。2012年的农历新年，自己没有特别度过，但获取更充实的知识，为了未来更好的照顾病人所需，想必也是——上帝对我的另外一种眷顾吧！

其实有时，也了解到，似乎或了好久，都是在为别人活着的同时，我开始回想，是否也该慢慢学习为自己而活着？但这并不是自私的理念，我不知能不能明白之中的道理，我仍然学习着，而希望有一天，我也能和别人分享，这种所谓的生活所得。^^

CNY 2012

My 400th post, just on the day for my 1st exam, in 2012...

A quick update of everything...


It’s almost Chinese New Year (in just few days), and my brother is flying back to the Peninsular again today, to continue his study.

He supposed to be in a flight at 8.30pm. And in the end, 2 hours delay. Or at least 1.

And he's gonna rushing to Uni, by taking a bus at 2pm.

I am reminded of the humble background that  I always have. As we are from the interior part of Sabah, without an airport (or to be more accurate: with a closed airport). Therefore we are always the latest to arrive at home if everyone depart on the same day, and of course, we have to be super early to get back to airport too.

Time at home is precious to all of us. I still remembered the day when I have to fly back to London, my flight is at the early morning of 6.30 am the next morning. So in the end I had to take the bus at 4.30, not am, but pm, on the day before, to arrive super early at the airport, and killing time there, where I would be more appreciative of I could be given the extra time, to look at the sleeping faces of my bros and sis, again, and again.

This incident repeats so much, that sometimes, I get used to it? Yet it is always so hard to say goodbye. So sometimes I don’t want to see my parents sending me off at airport, if possible. Cost is an issue. Another issue is, saying goodbye and to leave without burden, seems to be harder, when there was someone there.

And all the extra journeys, making us exhausted, not only physically yet also mentally. Very very much. Physically and mentally and emotionally.

And the bitter part is, on the reverse, when there is no one to receive you at the airport. Perhaps I am greedy. Yet I was, and am hoping that, one day my parents can be waiting for my arrival, proudly, at the airport arrival ground.

I remembered there was once upon a time, after arriving, tiredly from long haul flight. In the end even friend(s) that travel together, leave so urgently, even without saying a single goodbye. Bitter. And when you are pulling your heavy suitcase towards the aerobus station, your steps are heavy, yet your heart, perhaps even.
Anyway I am writing this to remind myself, while my brother is back to his student life, fighting for a future. That is what I should really really be doing, too.

Humble background, and a slightly harder life than others, is not an excuse, to stop.

***

I always find it difficult to find a good balance between hard work patency and knowledge patency.

If you will understand what I mean.

It is comprised of personal concern and public interest.

I tried to understand cause and effect, utilitarianism, deontological reasoning…

It’s not pharmacy ethics.

It’s real life story, that I still, confused.

***

Soap opera is indeed interesting

***

It’s only January.

Yet it will be the moment to say goodbye, soon.

And before that I would like to say my heartest thanks to Terry, Anuv, Ben and Stu. Life in 171 is indeed, still pleasing with you all.

Thanks for all the understanding for my occasional irrationality.

Thanks for let me to be at least, part of your life, for this short term of 9 months.

***

And in just few days, it will be CNY 2012!

To all, hopefully we will survive thorugh the exam!

And of course, not officially celebrating does not mean the wishes are not there!

Happy CNY 2012, everyone!

来自英格兰的祝福

好朋友最近分手了。。。

也不知是不是分手。。。

说得好些奇怪吧？但事实就是这样。。。

没有谈过恋爱的自己，并不能说太多，毕竟感情世界是两个人的事情。。。

分手有很多原因：
因为被背叛了，
因为感情转淡了，
因为没有感觉了，
因为更爱另外一个了，
因为心中再也容纳不了了，
因为爽。。。

而这一次，
是因为没有了所谓的安全感，
再也容纳不了自己的无理取闹，
再也受不起对方的好。。。

曾经教我坚强的她，又流泪了。
但大家都是那么的脆弱时，
当我们不知不觉相依为命时。。。
巴黎的月亮，还是皎洁的圆，冰心的亮。

曾经，他们是那么恩爱的。
其实，也许，他们现在，依然如此。
然而到底是长痛不如短痛，分手了之？
还是应该再来给自己和他一个机会，让时间决定一切？

生气了，开心了，吵架了，流泪了，赌气了。。。
曾经曾经，风风雨雨。
只因为爱。

爱，仍然存在。

她陪伴我度过生活中的风风雨雨
考试时，大家互相支持。
挫折中，大家互相提醒。
而这一次，时机不对，而感情的世界，不容忍我插手。。。

很，抱歉。。。

愿上帝领导你，做出正确的选择。

愿那英格兰的西北风，渡过欧非亚大陆，穿过印度洋，越过南中国海。。。

悄悄的，默默地，祝你，幸福。