幸福摩天轮

圣诞夜，我深思

今天几乎就失去了行动的能力——因为拉上了背后，前几天的小巫变成了今天的大巫。。。

也就因为这样，现在连走路、静坐、躺着睡觉、微笑点头的简单事儿，也做不好。更不用说煮饭、购物了。

人永远就是这样，从来没失去的，就是不会觉得可贵。
失去了，却再也得不回来了。。。

今天是圣诞节的晚上，和朋友们一起庆祝这份美好的晚上。
巴斯的圣诞夜，是我意想不到的。
朋友们就是那么的活泼，衬托出了我的不便。

听着土耳其的故事，还蛮精彩的，却发觉，听了也好，不听也罢，只因为，原来一直以来，已为生命里最重要的一环，却原来是那么的琐碎。
还想起那周三国北欧之旅，那种忐忑上路的心，家人的支持、好友的精神鼓励、上帝的眷顾，让我顺利完成完成寂寞却仍然算是精彩的旅程。虽没有朋友的八卦陪伴着，也许自己慢慢习惯了一个人的生活——一切，还好。


今晚再次打给家里，五个弟妹都在家里了。‘姐姐’去亚庇庆祝圣诞，妈妈在家忙着做家务。接着就忙着跟每一个谈着。从二弟的新新手提电话之谈、三弟的新自行车、五弟的补习班、六弟的语文课程表，再加上四妹的泰戏分享——我，就是背后再疼，也忘了疼：）

爱，的力量。


曾经，爱错了。
但爱情，就是盲目的。
真正的爱，没有太多理由，不需太多理智。。。

幸运的，在这有生之年，很快的，顺利地，找到了属于自己另一半。
而有一些，也许是命中注定，会继续寻找，或者从不寻找。
不寻找，是因为认输了、任命了、没必要、忘不了、还是其它千千万万的理由？

很幸运的，正是因为上帝的眷顾，命运冥冥中的安排，遇上了能够让自己信赖、依靠的朋友。
真心好友不说，只要不虚假，我已心满意足。
正因为你们不时的照顾，予我勇气继续积极地活下去，给我坦然正面的面对自己，赐我力量度过每一天。。。

那位永远在适当的时候，提醒我的朋友，谢谢你。
那位默默的一直赞在我身边并不是伸出援手的，谢谢你。
那位偶尔陪伴的，谢谢你。
那位曾经伤害我的，不能了解我的，因为你而让我更成熟的，谢谢你。

还有那位需要我劝导的。你的出现让我看回以前的自己，让我重新断定属于自己的价值。看着你困惑的同时，我只能够默默体会的心情。只望你会早日走出阴霾，重新寻回真正属于自己的那条路。

圣诞之夜路上回家，那种难受的感觉，也予人一种深思的境界。



活了二十三年，也许还没有人生的一半。这条路仿佛走了好久，却还没有走完——只因为更精彩的阶段，还会在后头。。。

而最近，当责任感不泛滥时——

默默想象紧紧抱着她时，那种幸福的感觉。
 

157: 不再让你孤单

Love is all around.

You are not alone.

事实就是真理。

如果成熟代表虚伪，是非不分，是非不分，助纣为虐，那我宁愿一辈子不长大。

一个家庭必须有至少一个负责任的人。

我不希望你帮我分担（这份责任），但我希望（至少）能够体谅我。

一个连家人都不能够体谅的人，是不应该得到任何圣诞礼物的。

信寄出去了就撒不回来了。。。

我们是否主观并不影响事情的对与错，关键在于——我们肯不肯妥协。

妥协不是屈服，不是认输，不是承认自己有错，只是比较爱对方的一方提出和解，以维护双方的感情不受伤害。

其实只要大家互相真正地爱着对方，没有问题是解决不了的。。。

街头的角落

她终于和他在一起了。

听了，以为自己会有难受的感觉。

但，让我自己惊讶的，除了坦然，还是坦然。

当责任感比任何都重要时，也许这就是会发生的事情。

对于她来说，这应该就是一份，来的是时候的圣诞礼物。

原来缘份，就是这么离奇。

原来幸福，就在街头的角落。

在那茫茫人海中，唯有转对了方向，才能够会心，找到属于自己的那个 ：）

Grand Dinner

Having dinner today with Kacey.

Briyani rice, black pepper chicken, Mussels soup, chicken with Cantonese curry, fried lettuce with mushroom, peacan and butterscotch ice-cream, Bailey cheesecake...

OK, that's too much...

And a nice chat for about 3 hours...


Learned so many new Chinese terms today...hohoho...

To be alone or to not be alone, is a personal choice, sometimes.

Merry Christmas, mon ami.

Pre-Christmas

Spending my quite time in Bath now, prior Christmas.

People have started their shopping spree ages ago, I suppose.

While doing my project, I was more than delightful to be able to catch up with a few old friends at the same time.

Kacey will be away soon. She is such a nice housemate to talk to. I will definitely miss her cookings, plus those long chatting session with her.

And exchanging academic view with Palak was indeed making up my day, as well...

I even started to be showered with a few appreciations from those that I had sent my personal Christmas wishes previously. This is honestly, totally unexpected and I was grateful - indeed small deed from me, big impact on others - so true :)

I know quite a few of my friends are still enjoying the warmth of Turkishs now. Wishing that they are having a good time, there.

Living abroad for this short period of time totally changed my horizon and view on everything - academic, relationships, friendships, love, work, money...

Thanks for everything...My sole wish now is just to become a great pharmacist, anywhere where I am expected to serve and be responsible. May God grant this to be true.

PK Merry Christmas, Med. Chem. Merry Christmas, Pharmacy Practice Merry Christmas...hohoho :D

 

My favorite song is on OneFM now

'Your favorite song is on OneFM now...'

A simple message.

That's friend.

The person that know the little bits of your life - tiniest and sometimes, the pettiest part.

That's what's friends are for...I suppose?

Thanks mon ani, you definitely brighten up my day, today.

 

Cinta Syura dan Shila

Syura:





Shila:



and some Shila's younger songs that I knew earlier :)

Cinta Misha

Revision on a few Malay songs that has accompanied me when I was a teenager :)

Playing emotions, feelings and loves

Just finished another love drama.

It was indeed so sweet to watch those actors and actress to be so sweet to each other, to get in love, to get married, etc, etc.

However, are words of love such an easy thing to say, just like that?

Is that means love in a movie, no matter how true it seems like, is just another white lie at the end?

No wonder actors are so hard to be, because you are playing with your emotions, with your feelings, with your loves...

I must have been too free to find a rational face when watching these drama...

Recent Thoughts - Last Week of Semester 1

Today suddenly feel there's so much to update, and so I think better do it now. Before I simply forget about it...

Today is the gathering of so called 4th year Pharmacy students, for us...

It was claimed to be staff/student dinner - and eventually only a staff turned up at the end...which is quite sad...

I personally have to admit that I feel Dr L is really supportive enough to attend our functions - although he himself may be aware that he won't enjoy it that much at the end - although on the other hand - it's not up to me to decide whether someone will enjoy his night or not...

He's indeed quite nice, although a bit boring sometimes...

I did feel to start a proper conversation with him - which I realised I did not really have the courage at the end...may be due to that story at the early semester...

Due to certain planning and arrangements - I did not manage to get supervised by him - but I know that, he will be a great supervisor :) Which turned out to be quite true, as what I know from my friend now...

May be it's all fate at the end...

***

Just spend another 170 pounds on air ticket about 1 week ago.

However that's not for myself - it's for beloved dear sister.

I don't really dare to let her spend CNY alone in KL for a week...

I called Rick, he said, why need to waste money...

Jack had to reply, I just not dare to do so...

Plus actually, I remembered my innocence emotion when I was at Pre-U level as well - when I always longed to go home. At that time, perhaps there's nothing nicer than back to the home sweet home, even for just a couple of days...

Time flies, things changes - physically, emotionally, socially, mentally...

However, the same feeling suddenly come back again - I wish to grant my sister wishes to go home,even if she did not expressed that too explicitly.

If I can afford it - then why not?

Happy CNY my dear. I hope to see you next next year if God will let us to...

***

It's the final week of my semester 1.

That's it.

Time flies, my dear...

And it will be Christmas soon.

I know there is no Turkey for me this time.

However I know that, as long as I am clear with what I need in my life -  I will be happy.

I hope to have a merry Christmas this time. Although I am not celebrating it at Lapland or Rovaniemi...

Merry Christmas 2012 and Happy New Year 2013 :)

A Friday

I must be pain in the ass to someone now...but apology when I said my heart was just not there, REALLY...

Christmas in coming. How this Christmas gonna work out this time really? I was wondering, and I am wondering...

***



***

A woman marries a man with the hope that the man will change
A man marries a woman with the hope that the woman will not change

That's why in the end, both of them end up with disappointment...

- A. Einstein -

***

Paradoxically, the person that you can hate most / can hate you most, is the person that you know / know you so well...

- JH -

Identity

I think someone may think about this problem directly, or indirectly. Some always, some never...

That's it.

To find your own identity.

Real identity.

What you want to do in your life...

What you like, and what you dislike...

What you want to have...

What you need to have...


Gradually, with the help of friends, I discover my own identity...

However, will people be happy for it, or not?

To be honest, people never care anyway - as long as you do not interfere with the tranquility in their life.

However, the society has been shaped in such a way that, people don't care about you (your happiness, especially), but they like to become judgemental, in such a way, that actually it will interfere your life...

I know, because indirectly, I am one of the 'people' too, as above...


Yet eventually...

Who you live your life for?

Is it yourself? Someone? Or others?

***

Happiness is actually just around the corner...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=70qETSuAWko


Credit to my Manchester friend :) Thank you very much :)